May 3, 2011
Life is never what people expect. Its a series of ups and downs. My life when I look back over the 25 years have been crazy needless to say not the usual thing. I am special, like everyone but my “specialness” to me seemed unique.
I saw the world from the perspective as if I were in a movie or just simple put “I am ADD” but I never let lifes struggles put me down, I think I thrived off of them.
In reflecting back late this evening/early the next morning overcoming things is what I have done. To tell you a bit about myself and just my journey:
I went to a small private christian school in Denver, I had trouble reading, writing and just doing school work. By the time I went to 1st grade the teacher recommended that I would be held back. My parents who love me so, saw that it would hurt my socialness to the extreme but I would have to work hard and have tutors to get me to passing level. Every summer I worked on English, sentence structure and just reading comprehension. There is a test that every 2 years you would take to see how I was progressing officially had ADD and ADHD. Each and every grade was really hard. It wasn’t until middle school did I start really fighting back.
I took myself off the meds and started to train myself to pay attention to comprehend. It was a struggle first few tests I was failing, even though I worked with all my might. SO FRUSTRATING
But slowly and with hours of work, I started to get it, by the time I was a junior in High School I was on the honor role and A’s ing all my classes. Senior year roles around applying to schools and getting a golf scholarship, I was set. But life throws you those curve balls. I went for a physical and in 1 months time my world went upside down. I was told something was wrong with me and know one knew what was going on but only that it was really bad. The greatest thing that happened was turning 18 to sign medical papers without my parents there. I was questioned if my parents were my parents and tested for hep c,a,b lupis, cancer, and anything else scary all while I was finishing up high school and trying to plan for college.
I was diagnosed with a giant spleen that took up most of my left side of my abdominal! Cool beans for me (yay right) I imagined going to school, playing golf and trying to go to the LPGA but that wasn’t what happened.
I soon realized I was going to have risky surgery, and thats when my life changed. It didn’t matter if I went to State for Golf or even went to Prom. It didn’t matter- I felt life was such a gift and it made me worry about what I didn’t do.
Because of surgery I didn’t go to school with a golf scholarship, my adominal muscles were severed and I had to learn how to sit up and rebuild from scratch.
Life doesn’t throw you easy curve balls.
But through that I learned to take it as it comes.
My story isn’t over….
I had my wedding photographer not show to my wedding
1st months of marriage sleeping with a board in the bed because my hubby twitched in the middle of the night
Having pnemonia more times than I can think
being little miss sicky because of lack of spleen
Had to fight to stay in my marriage because it got SUPER hard
Struggled with finding myself beautiful and what I did to myself to feel it
I lost yet another organ (Gallbladder because of weird circumstance)
been lots of things that I won’t mention, but my conclusion to this crazy world is that life is beautiful and it is the response that you give it that make a difference.
Pain (Sucks!) but it builds you, even when you thinking your drowning.
Here are my scars and at times I wish for a scareless stomach but when I look down I am reminded to smile because I am alive and that God created us to fight and make something out of ourselves. Scars are just the reminders that things were tough but somehow they get better eventhough their ugly.